The Dark Side of the Moon
by All-That-Jazz-14
Summary: New Moon retold from Edward's point of view. Please R&R cowritten with Fiabe
1. The Party

-1Disclaimer: We don't own Twilight. Stephanie Meyer does.

A/N This story is co-written by Fiabe and me, both massive twilight fans! This is New Moon from Edwards Point of View but occasionally we will be having other character's sides of the story. The plot should be right but we have had to cut out some speech so it doesn't get too long! It took Stephanie Meyer, what a year to write New Moon? We haven't got that much time!

This picks up from almost the very beginning of New Moon, after Bella's

**The Party**

We lay motionless on Bella's sofa, my icy arms cradling her. I watched silently as the tears rolled down her rosy cheeks, first for Romeo, then for Juliet. I wondered if she would cry for me like that.

"I'll admit, I do sort of envy him there" I said, talking of Romeo.

"She's very pretty"

I scowled, as if I cared about looks. If I had, I would have taken Rosalie as a mate as Carlisle had intended.

"I don't envy him the girl - Just the ease of the suicide" I put her right, teasing her playfully. "You humans have it so easy! All you have to do is throw down one tiny vial of Plant extracts.."

"What?" Bella gasped.

"It's something I had to think about once. Last spring, when you were… nearly killed… I knew from Carlisle's experience that it wouldn't be simple. I'm not even … sure how many ways Carlisle tried to kill himself in the beginning… after he realised what he'd become…"

In my head I ticked off Carlisle's failed suicide attempts. Starvation, throwing himself off cliffs, biting himself, drowning… it was a very long list and yet Carlisle was still in perfect health. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Bella shaking her head, trying to grasp what I meant.

"I wasn't going to live without you" I stated, surely that was obvious to her. I'd told her I loved her so many times. "But I wasn't sure how to do it. - I knew Emmett and jasper would never help… so I was thinking maybe I would go to Italy and provoke the Volturi." I sighed, contemplating how I could end my own life, not that I wanted to right now.

"What's a Volturi?"

Patiently I described the Volturi to Bella, carefully editing details about them that I'm sure would shock or horrify Bella. Like Jane's power for example.

As the credits drew to a close, I gently wiped away the tears from Bella's eyes with a strand of her mahogany hair. She rolled over and looked at me, her chocolate eyes meeting my butterscotch ones. And not for the first time I wondered what she was thinking behind them.

That was one thing that attracted me to Bella so much, she was a mystery. Yet despite not being able to hear her thoughts I knew exactly what she would be thinking as she saw what Alice had laid out. Thoughts of horror and shock probably. The entire house was strewn with red and pink roses, even Rosalie and Emmett's room. And I have no idea why Bella or anyone for that matter would want to go in _there. _Unless you were sure that both of them were out and there was no chance on you walking in on them doing something private.

But I was certain she would love mine and Alice's present, if not Alice's extreme decorations. My CD of compositions hadn't involved a dime being spent and that was her main requirement.

In one smooth motion I bent down and took her hand, pulling her to her truck, as gently as I could manage. It was second nature to me now, not underestimating my own strength. Opening the passenger door, I helped Bella in. I really needed to get her a new car, something flashy and new. Perhaps an Audi or a Cleo or a Porsche. But I knew Bella wouldn't have any of that, she'd refuse to drive it on principle. She refused to let me spoil her.

It took ages to get to my house in this prehistoric vehicle. It was probably older than me. The engine groaned loudly as I attempted to push it over fifty.

"Take it easy" Bella warned me, her voice full of concern for her truck. Maybe I should break it on purpose, then she'd have to get a new one.

"You know what you would love? A nice little Audi Coupe. Very quiet, lots of power…"

"There's nothing wrong with my truck." I didn't answer, I didn't want to have to lie to her. Everything was wrong with her truck.

As we neared my house, I switched on her stereo. It emitted an unhealthy crackling noise. I grimaced. I couldn't stand it when her stereo distorted what would otherwise be decent music. I think it was supposed to be Au Clair De La Lune but I couldn't be sure with the bad quality sound. Thank goodness Emmett, Rose and Jasper had bought her a new one.

"Bella, you know you could really do with a new stereo, this one seems a bit old"

"I like old things" she retorted, looking directly at me. Fair enough I was old enough to be her great grandfather, but compared to people like Aro, I was a child.

I was going to try a different approach but gave up as she turned into our drive. I could see Alice's roses blowing across the hedges. Luckily it was dark and I don't think Bella's human eyes spotted them.

As we got out of the truck, I put my arms round her, I didn't need Jasper to tell me she was nervous, it was obvious to someone having lived for over a century that she was nervous. She was going to have a fit when she saw Alice's decorations. I had thought them over the top this morning, I dreaded to think what they were like now. Hurriedly I scanned the minds around, looking for a mental picture of them. I didn't have to look far, Alice's extravagant decorations were the focus of everyone's thoughts. I settled for Emmett's fist.

"Ahh I can't even get into the bloody cupboard, there's so many bloody flowers. I hate flowers, I can't understand what girls see in them. And there bloody pink. I hate pink. Why couldn't they be green? Urgh I'll have to stay in what I'm wearing now. But Rose will throw a fit, she hates it when I wear my socks and sandals. What can I do? I know I'll take them off! I always think of the most amazing plans! And then I'll stash them under Jasper and Alice's bed so Rose won't see them!"

I smiled inwardly, Emmett thought you could get green flowers. Then I grimaced as I thought about how many flowers it would take to block Emmett's wardrobe door.

"Flowers, flowers, flowers, flowers…, more flowers, flowers, flowers. I wonder if there are enough flowers? Maybe I'll put some more under my bed. I only have pink ones, I need some red. Hmm, I wonder what Emmett's sandals are doing under here. I'll put them on Rose's bed so he can find them later. Oh yeah flowers, a pink one here, a red one here. Bella's going to love this."

Err it looks like Alice really has gone to town with the flowers.

Jasper seemed to be reminiscing as he read Gone With The Wind.

"This brings me back. I remember those skirts. Scarlett O'Hara is sure right, saying that the South has gone with the wind. It was beautiful once, before the bloody Yankees ruined it. Damn those Yankees, I hate those Northerners." I scowled, I was a northerner "Come on Scarlett, just kiss him, we all know you love Rhett Butler, just kiss him and get it over with. I wish Alice would stop chucking flowers at me, it's hard to read when half the words are obscured with petals"

Esme was simply wondering about how long it would take to sweep them up afterwards.

Carlisle had locked himself in his study "Ah peace and quiet… and no flowers. Now I can concentrate on my medical analysis of Harry Clearwater's heart problem. Oh no… trust Alice, there are even flowers coming under the door now. How am I going to get out to see Bella?!"

These flowers sounded tremendous. Even Rosalie who usually loved flowers was not enjoying the experience.

"I can't believe Alice, trust her to come up with a way to steal all the attention away from me. My stunning face is going to be hidden behind mounds of flowers at this rate. She's like a flower machine. I don't know how Japer copes. Hey wait what are Emmett's sandals doing here. He knows I told him to chuck them, they are so unfashionable. Where is he? I need to shout some fashion sense into him"

We would have to face the flowers. Steering Bella by her shoulder, we walked in. As I reached for the door handle, there was a flash of light. I whipped round to see Bella holding her camera.

"If I develop this film will you show up in the picture?" She asked, toying with her father's gift. I laughed. The superstitions humans come up with, no imagination at all! Not showing up in photographs hardly does the menace of a vampire justice does it?

Carlisle greeted us at the door, brushing flowers off his shirt.

"Happy Birthday Bella!! Sorry about this Bella. We couldn't reign Alice in!" He whispered cheerily, ushering Bella inside, where the rest of the family were waiting eagerly, all hurriedly placing silver wrapped presents on the table. I saw Bella's eyes open wide as she took in the colourful mass of flowers strewn everywhere in crystal bowls. I heard Jasper register her shock and horror in his head.

"Er, thanks everybody. But don't you think this is a bit much. It's only my birthday"

I turned to her and smiled "Bella, the last real birthday any of us had was Emmett in 1935.Cut us a little slack!"

Everyone nodded in agreement. Bella sprang back as Alice swept her into a hug, spraying flowers everywhere. Esme followed suite, enfolding Bella in her most motherly of hugs. Bella was already blushing as Carlisle put his arm around her shoulders and Emmett almost crushed her in a bear hug. Only Rosalie and Jasper remained where they were. Rosalie was admiring her reflection in the crystal bowl, while Jasper was leaning awkwardly against the door, wondering if Bella thought he was being rude by keeping his distance. I eyed him meaningfully. Jasper was dangerous at the best of times and today his eyes weren't quite as golden as I would have liked. But Alice didn't seem to sense any danger and seeing as she knew Jasper better than she knew herself I figured Jasper would be safe enough if he kept his distance.

By now, Alice had already guided Bella to the pile of presents on the crystal table, and Emmett had snuck out the back door with the stereo, winking at everyone as he passed. I picked up a silver wrapped present, which I knew was the Stereo box and handed it to Bella.

"Happy Birthday from Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper" Bella read aloud from the card attached, which was written in Jasper's slanted handwriting. Bella untied the ribbon and opened the box. We all laughed as Bella registered that it was empty.

"Umm… Thanks" Bella said.

"It's a stereo for your truck." Jasper explained, sensing her confusion "Emmett's installing it right now so you can't return it!" Everyone grinned.

"Thanks Jasper, Rosalie! THANKS EMMETT" Bella told them, grinning, raising her voice so Emmett could hear outside.

Emmett's booming laugh echoed from outside. I was surprised it didn't frighten her.

"Open mine and Edward's next!" Alice exclaimed.

"You promised" Bella said.

"I didn't spend a dime." I smiled back. That seemed to reassure her a little bit.

Emmett suddenly appeared behind Jasper, squeezing through to get a good look. In fact all of my family had crowded around us to watch. I smiled inwardly as Bella began to slowly tear the beautiful silver wrapping paper of my present.

Bella stuck her finger under the edge of the paper, and jerked it under the tape

"Shoot" She muttered as the paper sliced her finger. A Single drop of blood oozed from the tiny cut.

My instincts kicked in within a split second. I leapt towards Bella, thrusting her backwards out of harms way. At the same moment Jasper slammed into me, his razor sharp teeth snapping an inch from my face; his eyes and his thoughts past reasoning. I saw shock register on Bella's face as she lay in the mess of shattered crystal.

Next thing I knew Emmett had got Jasper locked in his iron grip. But still Jasper struggled on, twisting and turning desperately, his teeth snapping inches from Emmett's neck.

Then I felt it. The familiar sensation crept into my throat. The smell of Bella's blood overwhelmed me, sending me into a hazy cloud of bliss. I whipped around to see Bella lying helplessly in a pool of her own blood; jagged pieces of crystal covered the floor.

I shook my head violently, trying to clear my thoughts of the temptation. Carlisle seemed to be the only one who had kept his calm. Centuries of experience had taught Carlisle exactly what to do in such situations.

In an authoritative voice Carlisle spoke: "Emmett, Rose, get Jasper outside."

Obediently Emmett forcefully steered Jasper through the door, Rosalie helping, but keeping a safe distance from Jasper's teeth. But Jasper wasn't going without a fight. Jasper was a far more experienced fighter than both Emmett and Rosalie combined. If he had been thinking straight they would have had a major life-threatening problem on their hands. But luckily for them, Jasper was completely out of it; His thoughts were focused on one thing only. Bella's blood.

Meanwhile Carlisle had helped Bella to her feet and was steering her into the kitchen. Esme held the door open, one hand pressed over her mouth and nose, looking utterly ashamed. I quickly followed, taking Bella's uninjured arm in my cold hand, trying to ignore the blood dripping from a cut that ran all the way from her wrist to the crease inside her elbow. Not breathing was helping, but the sight of it still added to my instinct to kill, to drink.

"Alice, fetch my medical bag" Carlisle said more calmly than I could have managed. The scent of blood was still strong but I was determined to ignore it, Bella needed me here. I crouched over Bella, shielding her from danger. Carlisle approached me.

"Let me by, Edward." I relaxed my stance and let Carlisle past me. He knelt beside me, examining Bella's injured arm.

By then Alice had come in holding a white towel, she held it out for Carlisle.

Bella expression was bewildered she looked like she was making an extreme effort to remain calm.

"Now do you want me to take care of you here or take you to the hospital?" Carlisle asked.

"Here please" I heard Bella say. This was getting uncomfortable not breathing, but I would bear it for Bella's sake. I would bear anything for Bella's sake. I picked Bella up gently and placed her on the kitchen table. Alice then came back with Carlisle's medical bag.

"How are you doing Bella?" Carlisle asked gently.

"I'm fine." Bella's voice was fairly steady but that didn't fool me.

I focused on Bella's face rather than what Carlisle was doing to her arm. Both Bella and I were fully aware of the tiny plink plink sound as Carlisle extracted the glass from her arm and placed it in a bowl, but we both tried to ignore it. Once I glanced at the growing pile and the size of it alarmed me so much I couldn't bear to look again. How could I have put Bella in so much danger? I should have known Jasper couldn't cope. A surge of anger pulsed through me as I thought of Jasper. I was going to murder him.

I stood over Bella protectively, holding my breath, resisting the temptation.

"Edward you don't have to be a hero, Carlisle can fix me up without your help. Get some fresh air." Bella said, wincing as Carlisle got a needle and thread out of his bag.

"You may as well go and find Jasper and I doubt he'll listen to anyone but you right now. Go talk to him before he gets too far, I'm sure he's upset with himself" Carlisle added

"Yeah" Alice said, ganging up on me "You might as well make yourself useful." I could see the pain in her eyes as she spoke of Jasper, the disappointment in what he'd done. The fear that he would sink too far into his depression. And I took back wanting to murder Jasper, he hadn't been in control of his actions, I knew that, but it was no full excuse. He had to learn to control himself.

Reluctantly I slowly rose up from my seat next to Bella and ran out the door, looking back over my shoulder at Carlisle tending to Bella. As I left I heard Carlisle start to talk to Bella about religion. I sighed; Carlisle had a strange view on the subject for our kind.

Emmett was standing quietly outside the door, his hand entwined with Rosalie's as they both stared into the vast forest beyond them.

"I let him go" Said Emmett simply, gesturing towards the forest. I nodded in reply, pondering what on earth I would say to Jasper. I turned towards the forest, away from Emmett and Rosalie, who were now watching Carlisle silently through the window. Emmett's face was concerned; an expression that rarely graced Emmett's features. Rosalie's face just bore a look of indifference.

I broke into a run. Tracking Jasper was easy. Within a few minutes I found him. He was sitting on a bridge, his legs dangling over the edge, gazing intently into the black inky water below. He must have heard me coming but he made no indication of it, he merely continued to stare into the depths of the river. Seeing him like this, I got a taste of what he must have been like before Alice came into his life.

Reaching him, I swung my legs over the bridge too, and sat down next to him. For a few minutes neither of us said a word. But the silence was getting awkward. I felt I had to say something, but seeing him like this had dissolved my former anger. He looked ashamed, helpless even.

I was thinking of what to say when Jasper broke the silence.

"Is she okay?"

I nodded, there was no lasting harm done. Bella would be as right as rain in a few days. But a small voice in my head was warning me. Yes, this time we'd been lucky. Bella was only injured. But what if there was a next time, and Jasper or another one of my kind killed her. It would be my fault, and slowly it dawned on me that I could never entirely protect Bella from myself and my kind. If I really loved Bella, if I really wanted the best for her, I would stay away…

A/N I hope you enjoyed it! If you did review. As soon as I get a decent amount of reviews I'm happy with, I'll post the next Chapter. Also I wasn't sure if I got Edward completely in character! Let me know your opinions by reviewing. Constructive criticism welcomed.


	2. The Decision

-1A/N This is the second chapter, written by Fiabe. She gets full credit! Hope you enjoy it! Also thanks for the lovely reviews we got last time, they were all really appreciated!

**The Decision**

Listening to Carlisle tell my story to Bella, I felt even more sick with myself. How could I have been so stupid, keeping Bella around a family of vampires? Any fool could have seen that was an accident waiting to happen.

Just being around her was putting her at risk, and even worse, she wanted me to change her.

Change her! Damn her to this eternal half life, forced to feed from the blood of living beings.

The thirst, like a million shards of glass piercing into the back of your throat. It burned horrifically, until it filled your mind with nothing but yearning to quench it.

Animal blood can sustain a vampire, but it doesn't come close to filling the void and agony that the blood lust brings.

I clenched my fists angrily, feeling even more disgusted with the…creature I was.

But worst of all, to take away her soul? As much as I felt horrified with today's disastrous proceedings, I'd never be able to forgive myself if I took away her soul. Her very essence, her chance of an afterlife, of a normal life!

I glanced at Bella, blue cotton shirt soaked crimson with her blood.

It wasn't right.

"I suppose I should take you home now." Carlisle smiled at Bella.

"I'll do that" I replied, taking deliberately slow steps through the dining room.

How could he be smiling, still believing there was something more for us after this life? After all the danger I put Bella in? She could've been killed!

Trying to stop the anger building up, I kept my expression's blank and unreadable.

"Carlisle can take me" Bella said.

I saw her look down at her blood splattered shirt.

"I'm fine." I kept my voice as flat as possible. "You'll need to change anyway. You'd give Charlie a heart attack the way you look. I'll have Alice get you something."

I strode out of the kitchen door, desperate to get out. Just looking at her made it even worse, the unwavering guilt surging through me.

Next time, it could be more than just glass in her arm.

I wondered vaguely what Charlie would think if he knew what we really were. He barely tolerated me as it was.

I tried to place it to the back of my mind for the moment.

_Edward, are you okay? How is Bella? I'm sorry, Jasper is really upset about it all. _

Alice looked up at me with anxious eyes.

"Bella is okay."

Hardly, I thought sarcastically. You only put her at risk of being killed and eaten by a bunch of ravenous vampires, smashed her to the ground and injured her arm in the process while still being too pathetic to even be able to handle being around her blood without wanting to kill her.

"Could you find her something else to wear?" I asked, trying to keep my tone even.

Alice nodded, and grasped my hand with her tiny one. Both like marble, frozen to the touch. Not like I actually felt the cold anymore.

She lead me to the back doors, hurrying to Bella instantly while I hung back.

They both went upstairs to find Bella something else to wear, so she wouldn't look like an extra in a horror movie. Which is pretty much what I was subjecting her to, by being around her.

I closed my eyes, hearing Bella and Alice whispering, despite the door being shut.

Bella came down the stairs, and I tried to hold in my emotions as I saw the long, white bandage on her skin. Reminding me what I had done. What could happen.

I wouldn't let it happen.

I held the door open silently.

"Take your things!" Alice cried, as Bella walked towards me warily.

So she should be, I thought grimly.

Alice pressed the gifts into Bella's good arm.

"You can thank me later, when you've opened them."

Esme and Carlisle bid Bella goodnight, quietly. I felt three pairs of eyes stealing glances at me, trying to read me.

I simply stared forward with a blank expression, giving nothing away.

We walked over to the truck, and I felt the unwelcome light of the lanterns on my skin. I opened the passenger seat for Bella and she clambered in, silently.

Was she thinking about the nights events? Probably. Did she blame me, my family? Well I probably deserved it, I thought grimly.

Once again, the bitter irony that the one persons mind I wanted to read was a mystery to me, stung.

The engine roared to life, none of us daring to touch the new stereo.

The road stretched out, twisting and turning into the darkness. I pressed my foot down harder on the accelerator and could already feel Bella's disapproval radiating from her seat.

But I kept my eyes on the road, far too cowardly and weak to be able to look into her warm chocolate eyes.

"Say something," Bella begged, a pleading undertone in her voice.

Clearly, the silence was making her uncomfortable. Or was it me that was making her uncomfortable? That would be understandable.

I turned onto the freeway, eyes still locked onto the road.

"What do you want me to say?" I asked, trying to keep my voice as distant and remote as I could.

"Tell me you forgive me."

I felt the guilt, anger and self-disgust I'd attempted to bottle away explode to the surface. Rage flickered across my features, and I barely managed to keep my hands on the wheel.

"Forgive _you_? For what?"

Forgive Bella! The idea was so beyond logic, I nearly laughed. I should have been on my knees, pleading for forgiveness. When was the last time Bella or any of her family tried to kill me?

"If I'd been more careful, nothing would have happened."

I gritted my teeth together to stop my mouth gaping open at the absurdity of it all.

"Bella, you gave yourself a paper cut - that hardly deserves the death penalty."

It's still my fault." Bella insisted.

That was it.

"Your fault? If you'd cut yourself at Mike Newton's house, with Jessica there and Angela and your other normal friends, the worst that could possibly have happened would be what? Maybe they couldn't find you a bandage?"

I could hear my voice rising angrily, but it was too late. My thoughts, fears and emotions had already poured through the barriers I had tried to create.

"If you'd tripped and knocked over a pile of glass plates on your own - without someone throwing you into them - even then, what's the worst? You'd get blood on the seats when they drove you to the emergency room?"

"Mike Newton could have held your hand while they stitched you up - and he wouldn't be fighting the urge to kill you the whole time he was there. Don't try to take any of this on yourself, Bella. It will only make me more disgusted with myself."

I finished my rant, and took a deep breath to steady myself.

"How the hell did Mike Newton end up in this conversation?" Bella demanded.

"Mike Newton ended up in this conversation because he would be a hell of a lot healthier for you to be with." I growled.

A normal boyfriend. Normal friends who didn't fight the urge to murder people.

A normal life. Maybe grow up to have a nice little family.

The life I could never have.

Bella protested that she'd rather die than be with anyone but me.

I glared out of the window, didn't she know how bad I was for her? Hadn't she even thought about the countless times she'd nearly lost her life because of what I was.

The truck shuddered to a halt, but I kept my stone hands firmly around the wheel.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" She asked.

"I should go home."

And try and fix this whole mess I've got you into, I thought grimly. While there was still something of her life left to salvage. While she still had her life.

"For my birthday." Bella was stubborn. Well I could be too.

"You can't have it both ways - either you want people to ignore your birthday or you don't. One or the other."

"Okay. I've decided I don't want you to ignore my birthday. I'll see you upstairs."

I tried to keep the presents away from Bella. Maybe they weren't such a good idea.

But Bella was determined, and seeing her hop out of the truck with the presents precariously clutched under her good arm sent another wave of remorse through me.

I took the presents from her.

"Happy Birthday." I stated grimly. This had to be her worst birthday ever.

And sighing, I leaned down to press my lips against hers. I then pulled away, but Bella rocked forwards onto the balls of her feet and her warm lips were back against mine.

I could hear her heart racing, and I inhaled her glorious scent with pleasure.

Enjoying a sweet moment of bliss, I forgot my worries momentarily.

I smiled at her, before disappearing into the darkness.

Less than a second later, I was at her window and I climbed in effortlessly.

I plonked down onto her bed, mulling things over in my mind.

Now that I had stopped kissing Bella, the grave reality of the situation began to sink in.

She had very nearly died tonight, because of my carelessness. And as long as she carried on being around me, she would always be at risk.

I would never let her die, let alone by me or my family. It wasn't a possibility.

I could make her a vampire.

But was it right?

Who was I, to come and condemn her to this miserable existence? Never to have that

familiar blush creep across her cheeks when she was embarrassed?

Force her to have murderous thoughts, to fight the eternal thirst, never to enjoy the sweet taste of real food, never to dream again?

Take away her soul, damn her to hell, her very heart stop beating…

A low growl rumbled out of my chest.

No.

Bella skipped into the room, oblivious.

I toyed idly with one of the presents.

"Hi." I said, inwardly cursing as my voice came out melancholy and sad.

She climbed into my lap, and cuddled her head up to my chest.

I opened Carlisle and Esme's present for Bella, blanking out her muttering. I really didn't want her to hurt her arm, I felt bad enough as it was.

Frowning, I thought about their reaction if Bella could have got to open in front of them. If it hadn't all gone wrong.

Now, I wondered if maybe I should have spent money on my gift. It seemed like a good idea, but now it was probably going to seem tacky and cheap.

I cut off my chuckles at Bella's reaction, and unwrapped the gift, revealing a clear CD case with a blank CD inside.

It shone for a moment, and I caught our reflections inside. Bella - wide eyed and confused. Me - stony faced, frowning in thought.

The silence was eerie. Already, I felt awkward.

At least she already had the plane tickets, I tried to console myself.

I hit play.

The music filled our ears, and I waited nervously for Bella's reaction.

I looked at her, sitting in silence, and saw her beautiful eyes watering. Tears filled them, and she hastily rubbed them with her hand.

Great you idiot, her arm is probably in agony right now. I felt instantly miserable.

"Does your arm hurt?" I asked anxiously.

But she seemed…pleased with her present.

I quickly went to get her some painkillers for her arm. She was clearly in pain, and that was something I couldn't stand.

The lullaby carried on playing the background, washing over me vaguely.

"It's getting late," I commented, and easily lifted her from the bed with one arm, pulling the cover back with the other.

Gently as I could, I tucked her into bed. I had to be so careful, she was like a porcelain doll.

I lay down next to her on the cover, so not to get her cold and placed an ivory arm around her.

She leaned back on my shoulder and sighed.

I couldn't help but go back to what I was thinking earlier. About selfishly putting her in danger.

About damning her soul.

I gazed out in front of me, deep in thought.

The lullaby drifted to a close.

"What are you thinking about?" Whispered Bella.

I paused for a moment, wondering what to say.

"I was thinking about right and wrong actually." I answered truthfully.

I felt Bella shiver, and hoped I hadn't worried her. But she could probably guess what I was thinking now.

"I was thinking I'd like you to kiss me again." She said.

I wondered briefly if she was trying to distract me from questioning my morals concerning right and wrong.

Probably, I smiled to myself.

"Don't do anything you don't want to." She added quickly.

I laughed, then sighed.

"Heaven forbid that I should do anything I don't want to do." I said, my voice coming out desperate and desolate.

I cupped Bella's face in my hands, the contrast between my icy hands and her warm skin evident.

I kissed her carefully as I could, not forgetting the deadly venom in my teeth. Bella's heart thudded into overdrive, and her blood began to pump faster, her veins thudding rhythmically.

It dawned on me yet again what I had to do to protect Bella.

I had to stop being selfish, and let her go and live her life like a normal human instead of ruining the time she had.

This would have to be my last time kissing her. For Bella's sake.

My lips pressed against hers harder, more desperate. I inhaled her sweet aroma, savouring it as I twisted a hand into her long chestnut hair.

Her hands became tangled in mine too, and as she pushed her body against mine eagerly I realised I had to stop, or I'd never let go.

I pushed her away, gentle but firm.

Bella immediately collapsed onto her pillow, gasping. Her chest rose and fell quickly and I could tell she was completely disoriented.

"Sorry." I said, breathless. "That was out of line."

"I don't mind." She said, panting, yet her eyes still glinting with mischief, asking for more.

I frowned, she severely underestimated my self control.

She snuggled closer to me, and I could practically hear her sweet blood singing for me.

I'd never smelt anything so tempting, so sweet and delicious.

Bella pressed her injured arm against my shoulder, reminding me of the day's events and I immediately snapped backed to reality.

I had to do this. I had to stop being selfish and think about what was best for Bella.

I looked down, and Bella's eyes flickered beneath the lids. Dreaming blissfully.

She deserved better than me.

I had to do this.

For Bella.

"For you." I whispered, kissing her forehead lovingly.

A/N Thanks for reading! We'll post the next chapter soon, Please leave a review!


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